Hard Night
by Andrew Joshua Talon
Summary: The sequel to Peace of Mind, Mutsumi mentally paces the night, under the burdens of her powers and Naru and Keitaro's recent marriage. KMut, KN, slight XOVER into XMen. R&R, please.


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Yes, I wrote a sequel to Peace of Mind**! Bwahahahahaha! Mainly due to my maddeningly distracted nature, I seem to switch from project to project, with only a rough feeling of a pattern. Meh...**

The tie-in to X-Men still remains. As to my other project, Love Hina X**, the self insert bit was going nowhere, so I decided to delete it and start over. Self-insert only truly works in a few cases, mostly humor and parody, and LHX was not meant as a comedy. Will I continue it? Perhaps, though I would appreciate some help on it...**

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Hard Night

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Andrew Joshua Talon

DISCLAIMER: I don't, and never will, own Love Hina. Drat!

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They're married. They've done it. He's gone... 

This singular sentence drifts through my head, echoing like a song stuck in my head. The thought won't go away, won't depart, even when my formidable mental powers are applied to it. 

And so I lay here, staring at the ceiling, blankly. A withering bouquet sits in my hand, a few stray petals wandering with the air conditioning.

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They're married. They've done it. He's gone... 

I sigh deeply, letting my thoughts drift a little ways away from my body. I can see myself, lying on the floor, pale skin reflecting in the moonlight like smooth porcelain. My breasts shuddering with every breath I take. My hair fanned out behind me like a wedding dress train...

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They're married. They've done it. He's gone... 

I hate him, suddenly. Anger wells up in the depths of my bosom, a foreign feeling. Anger surges, a river of alcohol in my veins, burning yet satisfying at the same time.

Yes, I hate him. I hate him, for the promise we made, which he gave to her. I hate him for falling into her web of anger, of falling into the role of a punching bag. I hate her, for using him, for grabbing onto him to make herself feel better, for her paranoia and her pride. I hate him for his spinelessness, naiveté, and blindness, for his hypnosis of himself into the specter of Destiny.

I hate him for being kind, for being understanding. I hate him for his mind, his creativity, his determination and his inner strength. I hate him for his eyes, brown pools I could drown myself in, eyes through which I could meet his mind, see his soul...

I hate her for her friendship, for her patience, for her encouragement, and for her virtue.

I hate myself for falling in love with him, for forging that link to his mind so long ago, so that I can't break away, no matter how hard I try...

Haruka could see through me. She saw the way my eyes hardened when they kissed, the way I clutched the bouquet when I caught it. I was smiling the whole time, laughing... And inside, I felt like throwing the bouquet at his head. Or her head, I couldn't decide...

"I know it hurts, more than you realize," she had said, and with my powers I knew she was telling the truth. Haruka has always hidden her emotions, afraid to be hurt by feeling. Her fear takes the form of a wall, a hard, black wall to keep her feelings carefully corralled. Because, who knew what might happen if she let go...?

"It... It won't go away," I confessed, as we watched from her tea house, the happy couple get in the limousine to take them to the train station. She stirred her tea, and looked at me. Sorrow tore out of her eyes, such that I wanted to bend over and throw up, oh God....

"It won't, for a long time. But... I know you, Mutsumi. You will let it go, and you'll be a stronger person for it. Just don't make my mistake, all right, and you'll be fine." She'd finished that with a shadow of a smile. I returned a sad smile, while anger welled up inside me.

How could you know, Haruka? How could you know what it's like, to be one of the most powerful telepaths on Earth, and unable to wretch yourself from a boy who just broke your heart? How could you know, tell me, damnit! I wanted to scream, followed by throwing my tea cup into the far wall. I can see how it'd shatter, how the flavored water would run down the rice paper, leaving behind a gossamer stain...

I shift, standing up. I untie my robe and let the silk pool at my feet. I step out of the cloth ring, naked, and open the door. I walk out, heading for the baths. Soaking in hot water seems to dampen my emotions, easing the pains and tensions. I have a feeling though, that even soaking in the baths, until Naru and... him, come back from their honeymoon, won't do me any good. The pain will always be there, thanks to the feelings I constantly receive from him.

Damn my powers... Damn them...

I pause, listening. I'm near Shinobu's room. I hear her soft sobs, muffled by something furry. I scan her mind instinctively, feeling her hurt. I edge away, and walk down the hallway, but now I carry the echo of her pain...

Maybe I should take Haruka's example, shut off my emotions. I could keep my mind fortified, never have to deal with feeling the pain of others ever again...

Never feel other's joy. Never feel that spark of Kei.... His spirit, which fights to keep himself free. My eyes well up with tears when I feel that last defiant part of his soul, screaming, "LET ME OUT! I DON'T WANT HER! I WANT TO BE ME! LET ME GO!" 

I collapse in the hallway, a yard from the baths. The tears run, as I lean my naked body against the cool wood. And I cry. My thoughts run wild, I feel everything in the house...

The brooding pain of Haruka...

The hurt, hidden by duty and training, of Motoko...

The sadness behind a mask of chalance that Kitsune carries...

Kanako's dark ache...

Shinobu's pure heart, shattered by her pain and held together with desperate hope...

Suu, Sarah, and Mei's carefree dreams, with a hint of loss...

"Stop it, stop it..." I mutter, the tears running more freely. Seta's hateful obliviousness, Kentaro's lust-filled fantasies, Shirai and Haitani's longing for eachother...

"Mutsumi?" I blink, tears distorting everything around me. I feel myself taking deep breaths, though as if I'm holding a hand to a stranger's chest. I feel it through the skin. I look up.

"... Keitaro?" He's standing there, solemn. He stoops down, and takes my hands. His smile is embarrassed.

"I'm... I'm sorry. I couldn't stop the rest of myself, couldn't stop the pressure." I blink, my jaw dropping slightly.

"Ever since... Well... I met you, I kept feeling that, well, the expectation that everyone else had was that I was going to get together with... her. You know? I just... Was caught up in the flow, the flow of expectation." His smile became a bit bitter.

"I'm keeping my promise to Naru, and it doesn't matter that it's not her, I'm still keeping it... Because I have to keep it to someone, right?" I still stare, disbelievingly.

"How...?" He puts a finger to my lips to shush me.

"I'm the part of him, that found this link. And... I'm the part of him whose going to break out, whether he likes it or not," he stated, an uncharacteristically confiednt smile on his face. I blink, and shake my head.

"But... How could...?" He stoops down to his knees, and wraps his arms around me. His heartbeat feels real, calming...

"I know... What you know. I feel it, I feel... Everything. And now, now that I know, there's a chance I can get out of this," he says, a glimmer in his eyes.

"And, well... When I get the rest of myself to punch out, to love for me, and not for some promise," he bends to my ear, his warm breath caressing my skin. I close my eyes, feeling his reassuring touch.

"I might just be looking," he whispers, before he fades away...

I blink, and shake my head. I'm in the living room, naked, at night...

Oh! The baths, yes, that's why I'm here... As I sink into the rich, steaming waters, I can't help but smile, as I look up at the clear night sky.

He's gone... But he will be back. And there's still hope.

Too bad the others won't know it until he gets back...

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First off, the last bit was not meant to show malice on Mutsumi's part. More as an understanding, or a simple statement. And Mutsumi can feel anger, duh. As I said, I simply think she knows more and feels more than she lets on. 

The title was NOT meant to foreshadow the little bit of fan service I did. I was referring to Mutsumi's statement in the 10th Volume of the Manga, when Keitaro and Mutsumi are found in bed together, and Mutsumi says something to the affect the next morning that she's pregnant. Which she wasn't (DAMNIT!), but still... Mutsumi, at night, Keitaro, nudity... Making the connection?

Mutsumi is, I believe, at heart, a pure, nice person. But, no one can't not feel anger and bitterness at some point. Mutsumi's kindness is based on a comfortable relationship with the world, mostly, so this is justified, I think.

Wait, why am I defending what I wrote to you people? If you didn't like it, buzz off!

Now... I have to wonder... Should I make it a three-parter? I had thought of writing an ever-so-slightly AU songfic, where Keitaro and Mutsumi sleep together before he gets married, she gets pregnant and hides it so she doesn't ruin his marriage and happiness, everyone finds out, Naru goes uberbitch on Keitaro but he resists, Mutsumi and Keitaro get together blah blah blah, end of story (If anyone tries to write this, you have my compliments-But I WOULD like some credit for thinking it up).

But anyway, if enough people want me to continue it, I will. Nuff said. Now, I think I've ranted enough. R&R, please!

Anything will work. Flames, food stamps, talking hamsters... I'm not picky...


End file.
